Colon Cleaner Hot Sauce

With a name like Colon Cleaner Hot Sauce, it’s gotta be good, right? Trust me on this one, boys and girls, Colon Cleaner Hot Sauce will cure what ails ‘ya, alright. It’s made from habanero peppers and rated at about the middle of our heat index scale—it’s a 4—but I don’t know, sometimes it feels a little hotter, to me at least. I love this one!

Despite the gastric connotations (and yes, I said gastric, not gastronomic), Colon Cleaner Hot Sauce is a great all ‘round condiment. It’s like a mustard, and you can use it anywhere you’d use the old (boring) yellow standby.

Try Colon Cleaner Hot Sauce on burgers, hot dogs, ham or turkey sandwiches—pretty much anything. For a Philly twist, try it on soft pretzels. Very good.

Collectors love Colon Cleaner because of the bottle. It’s packaged to look like an old-time cure-all remedy (got ‘Tussin?’) and the label is great. According to the (funny) lable, Colon Cleaner Hot Sauce cures the common cold, flu and makes you feel good all over. And according to Professor PhardtPounder, the maker of this heatful product, it’s an all natural, new and improved formula.

Well, I don’t know about the cold or the flu, but believe me, Colon Cleaner Hot Sauce can make you feel a lot better. Here’s the prescription. Get an icy 6-pack of your choice. Fire up the grill and lay on a buger, hot dog, and maybe a hunk of Italian sausage. Administer the beer liberally to yourself during cooking. Lightly grill the rolls, and then slather on some Colon Cleaner Hot Sauce. You will start filling better immediately.